By Figen Genco, BA.
If a child is constantly being yelled at to clean up his room, and all he does is to hide everything under the bed and in the closet, it might be because he doesn’t have sufficient space and knowledge about how to do it. Rather than writing, “You are a mess” on his mental walls, it is advisable to figure out why the situation happens.
Is it because something is missing such as shelving, or is it because there is too much stuff? Is it because the drawers in his chest keep getting stuck, or because he does not like folding his clothes?
Creating a functioning system is a process which necessitates understanding needs and one’s self. One third of it is observations, one third of it is tools, and one third of it is the space. If you only go by the space and the furniture, you might still end up with a mess when we don’t add the person who will use the space in the equation.
For example, you cannot order a closet system and expect that it will work wonders because you have paid thousands for it. Most closet companies give you a system according to your space and whatever accessories you think are “nice”. After the installation, your clothes might still end up on the floor, on the bed, and on the exercise machine because you didn’t factor in if you:
* Like to fold, throw* or hang your clothes
* Prefer to see them, or do you want them in drawers
* Have long/short, bulky…etc clothes.
* Like to group them according to color, season, length, type or your dressing style
So, by making observations about your likes, dislikes and habits, you can avoid living in guilt for the things which you are not responsible for. For example you might have a nice closet system in your closet but it might not be suitable for your habits. When you see the clothes on the floor, you will immediately blame yourself. In reality it might be that the closet system does not work for you! It might be that the closet door only opens half way and blocks the rest of the closet. By being aware of what is happening, you can stop concentrating on the problem and blaming yourself. And when you are at peace with yourself, you can think clearly and create something that works for you.
Some sample phrases to clean out the guilt and gain clarity could be:
Even though I hate folding my clothes…
I love and forgive myself for throwing my clothes wherever. Because when I DO fold them and put them nicely on the shelves, every time I take something, the whole shelf of clothes falls down and I get frustrated.
Maybe these shelves just don’t work for me. Or maybe I don’t like to fold my clothes.”
*Some clothes can be just thrown in bins, such as gym clothes, or bulky sweat pans. Everything does NOT need to be folded. Organized does NOT mean “neat”. It means accessibility and functionality.
Figen Genco, BA.
EFT/Feng Shui/Organizing Consultant
About the Author
Figen Genco www.lovethewayyoulive.com