The Sprint to the Finish and a Look to the Future
By Andrew Silins, CRC, MA
It is hard to believe that 2008 is nearly over… It has been a blur! Less than a month until we turn the page to 2009. A new year: and with it, new resolutions… Most people don’t give their resolutions much thought, as they are so consumed with all the activities and demands of the holiday season. New Year’s resolutions could very well be life-changing events, but sadly, for most people, they continue to be an exercise in futility. Every year, they make promises to themselves, and every year, they break them….
Looking at it from a coach’s perspective, I believe that this stems mostly from a lack of preparation. People are reactive in general, and this time of year magnifies that tendency: Schedules are much more hectic. Deadlines loom on the horizon. Crowds are bigger, traffic is slower, food is everywhere, and the pace is intense… Reactive people feel like a pinball, bouncing around all over, flying from one commitment to the next. Because of this, New Year’s resolutions are an afterthought, and merely part of the ‘holiday ritual’, instead of an opportunity to make lasting changes in one’s life. Unfortunately, that very mindset perpetuates this self-defeating cycle.
Using the planting of a seed as an analogy, I want to present a way to change that way of thinking, and prepare for a successful start to the New Year. The ‘typical’ holiday scheduled mentioned above is akin to taking a seed, and tossing on the ground, hoping that it takes root while we go about our business. Not a high percentage method, simply hoping a new resolution will survive and thrive with no preparation.
To give the seed a chance, some work must be done, right? Thought must be given to the type of plant desired, its location (taking into account that plant’s need for light, soil, etc.), and its suitability to your environment/climate. In addition, the soil must be prepared to accept the seed, and a long-term commitment must be made to ensure proper watering, feeding, and weeding. Then, and only then, are the conditions most conducive for plant growth.
Similarly, for a New Year’s resolution to have a decent chance of survival, there must be some planning and some commitment. Most resolutions are to either lose weight/get in shape, or some variation of ‘I am going to “change my life”‘…. While these sentiments are great, and would be wonderful improvements for just about anyone, they are so generic and vague that they cannot be quantified and specified. Like matching the suitability of a plant to your general climate, and placing it specifically in a spot ideal for its growth, a resolution must not only state a need, it must also be defined so as to be a measurable goal.
Furthermore, it must also be something realistically achievable…. It makes no sense for a middle-aged person with poor vision to resolve to become an astronaut. All the sincere desire in the world cannot overcome the stringent physical requirements… In reality, only the elite of the elite of military aviation are chosen as candidates, and from there only the top performers will survive the cut to become an astronaut. But is it not reasonable for this same person to resolve to become a licensed pilot? A tone-deaf person with no musical training can resolve to become the next singing star, but as an alternative (and a sound place to start), why not take singing lessons, or learn piano or guitar? If you are starting completely from scratch, you must learn to crawl and walk before you can run!
If fitness is the resolution, instead of just saying, “I want to get into shape,” make it a quantifiable goal: ‘I resolve to lose 25 pounds by December 31′, or my goal is to get back to a 34 inch waist, or to fit into outfits 2 dress sizes smaller. That way, you now have a hard target to aim for and check progress against. Reason must also accompany this… If you have never pursued a fitness program and have never seen the inside of a gym, it makes no sense to resolve that you will become a body builder and enter competition by year’s end. Setting an impossible goal simply sets one up for failure. You would not plant a palm tree in Minot, North Dakota, and expect it to thrive, nor could you create a large, detailed, mature garden landscape overnight.
For someone wanting to ‘change their life’, what exactly do you want to change? Job/career? Get additional training or purse a degree? Do more things outside of work? Pick up new hobbies? Volunteer? Self-motivation/improvement? These questions must be answered. Only then can one expect to discover the proper direction to channel their energies and talents.
In gardening, once you have decided on the type of plant, you must now gather additional information. Talk to local experts to find which species work best for your area. Is the soil suitable? Will you need additional tools and equipment to plant and care for your garden? What exactly do you do, and how do you do it?
Similarly, once you have decided on a potential resolution, it is time to gather data to help you in your pursuit: Do you know anyone who is a licensed pilot? What are the requirements? How much will this cost? How long does it take? Music lessons… Who will you get them from? Rent an instrument or is it more practical to buy? Where will you practice, and when? Do you know any fitness trainers? Should you invest in a home gym or get a club membership? How much will it cost?
Depending upon the self-improvement objective you have chosen, what new career field are you interested in? Will it require a degree? Are you enrolled for any training opportunities available from your current employer? Who have you spoken to regarding this new interest? How can you parlay this interest into income, or is it purely for altruistic reasons? Do you have a mentor that you can rely on for advice and direction?
Gathering this vital data will help determine the ultimate success or failure of your resolution. This intelligence can either be collected as part of the decision-making process, or it can be discovered through trial and error… While both methods are effective, which is the most efficient? Buying an expensive, flowering bush, and planting it, working hard to feed it, water it, and prune it properly, only to discover that it died in the hard winter, is a lesson that one will remember for quite some time. But how much easier and cheaper would it have been to take a little more time up front, and either ask someone, or research on your own, that this same beautiful bush cannot survive in your area? Not only would you have that information, you might also uncover feasible alternatives that are even better.
Likewise, talking through the desire to be a pilot, with a pilot, might reinforce your desire to pursue that license, or it might help you understand the additional unforeseen rigors and expense that completely preclude you from accomplishing that goal. But in the course of that research, this same pilot that helped you understand that a pilot’s license is an undertaking that will not work, has just referred you to a local club that builds and flies model planes. They are people that have a similar love of aviation, and can enjoy the thrill of piloting, on a scale that you had not even imagined. Wouldn’t it be worthwhile to attend one of their meetings to check it out? Maybe this is the perfect alternative, and maybe it is not… How else will you know?
You talk with a neighbor or co-worker about your desire to begin a fitness program, and they enthusiastically tell you about both a wonderful home gym product, and a nearby club with reasonable rates and hours. Further conversation with these two knowledgeable peers helps you identify the ins and outs of a membership, the alternatives with working out at home, and insights into the necessary mindset to commit to regular exercise. Most importantly, this process of discovery helps you delve into another topic you had not even considered: Your personality and comfort level. Will you be at ease in a gym full of strangers, or would it be best to workout at home? Do you need a workout partner for accountability, or are you able to stay motivated on your own?
This preparation and research, which is so vital for the success of your resolutions, is also the typical reason that most fail to complete it. The excuse is that the hectic nature of the holiday season precludes them from looking into such things. That ‘herd mentality’ and justification, continuing to repeat the same thought process and activity pattern over again, ending with the same result… Another uninspired resolution (as sincere as it might be): poorly researched (if it all), pursued half-heartedly and abandoned early in the New Year.
The only way to fully break this cycle is to fully change your approach from top to bottom: This starts with attitude and thought process. Instead of considering the preparation and research as another nuisance, just another thing to add to an already busy schedule, it must be viewed as a break from that hectic schedule: A mental bubble bath or power nap if you will. The time and effort spent on preparing for the New Year is actually your personal respite from the usual hustle and bustle. How is this done? This process must be viewed from the prism of the end result. You must start to envision where you WILL be once you have achieved this resolution, not from your current situation. You must have the mindset of accomplishment and fulfillment, not of activity and frustration.
Up to now, we have been discussing the WHAT and HOW of a New Year’s resolution. These are the two rational aspects that virtually all people focus on. But the secret of achievers is the WHY: Finding that motivational powerhouse of WHY is the key to breaking the mold of typical thinking… Tapping into your emotions, focusing them in on a specific target, and harnessing them with a logical plan of attack transforms a person from one of millions hoping for something different into one in a million, having what they want.
Next time, we will ‘Look to the Future’ and pick up our resolutions and power them into reality by using our dreams/emotions as the fuel. This same approach can be used to help our clients achieve not only their New Year’s resolutions, but also their career or life goals. But we can only recommend a tool that we know how to use ourselves. Please take some time to plan out your resolutions… Find your WHAT, and write it down (prior to the year’s end!)
Next, take some quiet, personal time to do two things: List HOW you can achieve your resolution(s), who you can contact to work with, and the details, as fully as you can. Second, imagine, as vividly and as deeply as you are able, how you will feel once that resolution is accomplished. Describe how you felt, what you were doing, and go so far as to list the sensations, whether they were sounds, smells, your emotions. Be as specific and as detailed as you can. While this can be somewhat awkward at first, go for it and have fun with it! Remember: The more powerful your WHY, the more likely you are to succeed.
Once you have done that, whenever you are taking the time to prepare for your research and planning of your resolution, take a few moments and recapture those sensations. Replay your WHY. Not only will you be inspired for the New Year, you will find yourself refreshed and ready to take on whatever task is in front of you for the remainder of this holiday season. You will be amazed at difference!
Good Luck. Happy Hanukkah! Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!
About the Author
Andrew Silins is President of A+ Retirement Coaching, and Vice President of A+ Career & Resume, LLC . A Certified Retirement Coach and Life Options coach, Andrew has an extensive background in the financial services industry, including management, sales, and customer service.
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